Landon's Verbal Pathway

Through Smoke by Needtobreathe

2010-09-21T16:41:00.000-07:00

Before the truth will come to fill our eyes
The wool comes down in the form of fire
And when the answers and the truth have cut their ties
Will you still find me
Will you still see me through smoke, through smoke

I was born in a house in a town just like your own
I was raised to believe in the power of the unknown
'Cause when the answers and the truth take different sides
Will you still find me
Will you still see me through smoke
Through smoke (x3)

When their whispers have painted pictures that
Make you doubt what you once believed in
Paper stories that hide the glory

To keep us searching
Through smoke

Who do you believe when you can't get through (through smoke)
When everything you know seems so untrue (through smoke)
When I'm lost in a place that I thought I knew (through smoke)
Give me some way that I might find you (through smoke)

Who do you believe (through smoke)
Everything you know
When I'm lost in a place (through smoke)
Give me some way

Through Smoke by Needtobreathe

Where I'm From

2010-09-03T11:20:00.000-07:00

I am from hole-digging,
from Future of Forestry ringtone,
and a Haitian sunburn.
I'm from a bedtime bible story,
a resisted goodnight kiss,
and an Afar magazine.

I am from far away places
that I have never been
but have visited in the expanse
of my mind.

I am from "do what makes you feel good"
Speak the painful truth
Cross a boundary
With a broken, capitalist father.

I am from a beautiful blonde
from Knows what she's talking about
Creativity adventure in new laughter.

I am from purpose
and resistance.
From a cold shower after work,
From Potok, Pamuk, and Robinson,
And from where did the time go now?

And I'm from salvation,
a new life each day.
I am from a global purpose.
I am from the kingdom of truth
on Earth.

Moksha

2010-09-03T11:06:00.000-07:00

I know not me
I am not I
I am you
I am nothing
I am nothing tangible

Let go

We are each other,
eternally
I know the end,
And the beginning of everything
I, we, us, everything lifted higher.

Blessed holy light!
The soul beats the rhythm of the nations,
Combined into Majesty!
The divine made known to the Redeemed!

Holy eternity gives the touch of heaven
to the fallen, completed heart.

Praise Him.

LIfe

2010-04-06T13:44:00.000-07:00

So I haven't been here in a while. And possibly that means I have been too busy doing more important things. Like living life. I don't think anyone really reads this blog unless I tell people I have written in it so I'm possibly relaying all of this therapeutically more than anything.

A recap of my family's and my life since January:

An earthquake in Haiti...Fear, Anxiety, Stress, Sadness
A new Child, Amanda...Sudden Change resulting in Stress, Adaptation
Courtney w/ Pneumonia-Fear, Stress, Panic
Courtney's Thyroid Removal-Stress, Fear, Uncertainty

I suppose that is a lot to go through in one month. But I am so thankful for God. It is because of him we can say "Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the LORD will be my light" Micah 6:8

As a side note, I deleted Facebook today. My wife Courtney did the same thing last week and inspired me to do the same. It's strange what we feel strange about sometimes. Even though I was hardly on that site, I felt some odd hesitation about it. LIke I was losing something. I suppose that is a small taste of what the rich ruler might have felt if he would have given away his riches. Some odd remorse even though he would surely know his actions were based on sound principles.

Anyhow, until next time, whenever that will be.

Landon

2009-10-24T08:08:00.000-07:00

Everyday, you have to say yes. Total Surrender! To be where he wants you to be. If he puts you on the street, and everything is taken from you, and suddenly you find yourself in the street, to accept to be on the street at that moment, not for you to put yourself in the street, but to accept to be put there. This is the difference.

To Accept!

If God wants you to be int eh Palace, well then to accept to be in the Palace, so long as you are not choosing to be in the Palace. This is the difference. This is what made the difference, in total surrender. To accept whatever He givees and to give whatever it takes with a big smile.

This is the surrender to God!

To accept to be cut to pieces, yet each piece belonging only to Him. To accept the people that come, and the work that you happen to do. Today, maybe you have a meal. And tomorrow, you maybe have nothing. Maybe there's no water in the well.

To Accept!

And to give whatever it takes. It takes your good name, it takes your good health. It takes "yes": That is the surrender.

And then you are free.

-Mother Teresa

Martyrdom

2009-10-12T07:10:00.000-07:00

...nd we were only trying to make it. I don't quite know where the time went, but we lost for winning.
Forcing our steps into silence was pointless,
Stone upon stone we trod and shame brought up the rear.
Windows opened, windows slammed shut
As a futile attempt to somehow shut out their disgrace.
We couldn't see anything anyway.
So what's the difference?
I guess they were wrong
When they said God would make our blindness into sight.
No matter, the landscape is different now anyway.
Our feet feel the timbers creaking beneath us.
What else can we say?
We will go only to pave a stony path for the next fatal few
In hope that the path will lead them,
Lead them anywhere but here, to this type of de...
Amen.

2009-09-26T08:15:00.000-07:00

It has been a long while since I have posted here. I guess it is because life has been so busy. Between my last post and this one I have gone to Haiti, prepared and had an incredible wedding to an incredible woman, and started a new semester working 26-32 hours a week, taking 15 hours in classes. Life is running, to say the least.

I've written one poem and I threw it away. And nothing else.

Here's something.

At first I thought I'd run away
but there's no sense in that.
I just freaked out and nothing more
and God was knocking on our door,
we decided and my jaw hit the floor.
I can't believe we chose that!
If there was a joy that could express
the one I feel right now then the world
would be a much, much better place.
Especially Haiti.

2009-03-10T22:33:00.000-07:00

Gibt es einen Mann mit weniger Schmerz als ich? Ach Gott, wenn es gibt, führt bitte mich zu ihm, seine Wege zu lernen! Dort scheint, kein Ende zu dies zu sein. Sein Sie kurz davor mich, Ach mein Gott. Ich bin und Wunde mit Rissen niedergeschlagen. Mein Weinen ist häufig, ist mein Herz niedergeschlagen. Ich bin in der Grube der Verzweiflung. Strecken Sie in einem Zug mich, Gott aus! Wo sind meine Freunde? Wo sind meine Tröster? Sie sind nicht hier. Sie sind abgelegen. Wickeln Sie mich in Ihren liebenden Armen und nehmen Sie meine Lasten weg, Vater. Die Last ist schwer. Mein Herz wächst schwach. Sein Sie kurz davor mich.

2009-03-02T21:39:00.000-08:00

Walking along
And these lips aren't my lips.
They sing a song
About the way your hair flips.
It may be wrong
But they speak of your hips.
The list is long;
The words sail like sinking ships.

These hands that move,
they can't be my hands.
They have a groove,
They stretch far away to foreign lands,
And also soothe
me as I forget about my life's demands.

My feet, they walk,
But I have no control.
They tend to stalk
The voices of desperate men of long ago.

My eyes, they're blind,
But they can't stop searching.

2009-02-19T21:42:00.000-08:00

Hide me anywhere, if there is a place
For me to go. I can't see the face
of the one bearing down upon me.
Is it man? Is it woman?
Or both, perhaps?

All I know is that I'm surrounded.
But I'm not much afraid or astounded
To find myself in the situation.
I suppose the only way to escape
Is to surrender.

Wait! No! I will not be overtaken.
The cracking sound that your eardrums hear
Are someone else's bones a-breakin'.

See, my wings are coming out.
I'll take to the sky and will say
Goodbye as fly off with a shout.

The bell will not be tolling for me today.

Three Very Good Songs

2009-02-01T21:48:00.000-08:00

Glen Hansard - Falling Slowly

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

I paid the cost too late
and now you're gone
--------------------------------------------
When Your Mind's Made Up by Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová
so
if you ever want something
and your call comes
then I'll come running
to fight
and I'll be at your door
when there's nothing
worth running for

when your mind's made up
when your mind's made up
there's no point trying to change it
when your mind's made up
when your mind's made up
there's no point trying to stop it

you see
you're just like everyone
when the s*** falls
all you want to do is run
away
and hide all by yourself
when it's far from
there's nothing else

when your mind's made up
when your mind's made up
there's no point trying to change it
when your mind's made up
when your mind's made up
there's no point even talking
when your mind's made up
when your mind's made up
there's no point trying to fight it
when your mind's
your mind's
there's no point trying to change it
when your....

so
if you ever want something
when your call comes
then I'll come running
----------------------------------------
The Hill by Markéta Irglová

Looking up the hill tonight
When you have closed your eyes
I wish I didn't have to make all those mistakes and be wise
Please try to be patient and know that I'm still learning
I'm sorry that you have to see the strength inside me burning

Where are you now, angel now
Don't you see me crying
And I know that you can't do it all
But you can't say your not trying
I'm on my knees in front of him
But he doesn't seem to see me
But all his troubles on his mind is looking right through me
And I'm letting myself down deciding is falling you
And I wished that you could see I have my troubles too

Lookin' at you sleeping
I'm with a man I know
I'm sitting here weeping while the hours pass so slow
And I know that in the mornin' I have to let you go
And you'll be just a man once I leave to know
For these past few days someone I don't recognize
This isn't all my fault
When will you realize

Lookin' at you leavin'
I'm looking for a sign

Some Pictures I Took

2009-01-12T16:49:00.000-08:00

2009-01-10T22:21:00.000-08:00

If life was perfect
There wouldn't be pain,
No ache, no sting,
No clinically insane.
But if life was all perfect
It wouldn't be the same
No truth, no faith,
It'd be absolutely lame.

I'm looking for the real deal,
The raw and unbridled.
I'm not looking for the movie,
My life is untitled.
I'm going in for the real thing;
The real truth of it all.
No one can stand up forever,
I'll just rest in the fall.

Our pain looks like beauty.
Our pain is not pain!
Without it we'd lose interest,
There'd be nothing to gain.
So put away your sadness,
and remove that blank look,
Your hurt isn't hidden;
I can read you like a book.

Time is a-wastin'!
I just thought you should know
That your heart isn't broken,
It's just pumping a bit slow.
Life is not over
So please, give it a rest
And come back to talk to me
When you've gone through a real test.

2008-11-23T14:49:00.000-08:00

It has me clinched it its fist,
The evil that covers me.
It marked me off of its list,
It has won more than victory.

I'm down on the floor.
I'm buried in emptiness.
I'm conquered for sure.
My chest filled with building stress.

Why am I tired and lost?
It just happens again, again.
And now I suffer the cost,
The pain of uncovered sin.

I feel like I'm already dead.
My breath is avoiding me
Because I already said
Everything that there is to say.

I hope that you understand
The darkness inside of me.
Now please just take it away,
No, I don't want it to stay.
There cant be a chance that
I'll keep feeling this way,
Just take it away.

I need a new place to land,
A place full of bright white light.
Digging my feet into the sand
Never felt so good, so right.

I want to sleep on your shore,
The waves sweeping over me
Until I remember no more
The ache of my agony.

But now its dark in this room.
It's hard to strike up a light.
Will you do it for me?
Keep it burning throughout the night.

Now come close to my side,
Take my heart, hold it in your hands
And remove all dirt
To give it back to the land.

Please remember my name
When I climb the last stair to you.
Let me enter into your glory
To claim you as my story
And to know that I don't have to worry,
Let me enter your glory.

Life's Not The Same, Dear

2008-11-06T10:47:00.000-08:00

Life's not the same, dear
As it used to be
I'd fall on my face
To keep you near me
Things keep on changing
As far as I can see
Yeah, life's not the same, dear
As it used to be

We twist and we move, dear
As life drifts along
We walk in the hope
We hadn't got it wrong
So let's sing it together
This time-tested song
We twist and we move, dear
Our entire lives long

Life's not the same
No-no, not at all
Life's not the same, dear
But were in 'til we fall

Life's not the same, dear
But were in 'til we....

2008-11-04T12:01:00.000-08:00

Politicians

2008-11-01T20:31:00.000-07:00

As I have gone about my days I have had a recurring thought working its way through the twists and turns of my mind. See, it’s my first time to vote in a general election this year and I have been troubled about who to choose for President. See, just like many of you, many ideas and opinions have been pounded into my head by numerous people. One says “Vote McCain, he is pro-life!” Another says “Vote O’Bama, he will bring the troops out of Iraq!” A father says “Vote McCain, he will keep taxes low!” A mother says “Vote O’Bama, he will save the economy and give tax breaks to the middle class!”
See, I’m all for ending the Iraqi war, low taxes, and a healthy economy. I would love to see the U.S. having better relations with foreign nations. I am in favor of America. Yes, I am in favor of all of that, but there is an issue beyond that that hovers over all of the minor issues we face as a nation. The real problem is the division that these issues cause in our homes, in our schools, and in our states. Wasn’t it Washington, the first leader of this fine nation, who said something about not creating divisions in the form of political parties? Why didn’t we take his advice? Honestly! People have been advising others against political parties for a long, long time. It was Jean-Jacques Rousseau, a man of the 18th century, who said “It is important...in order to have a clear declaration of the general will, that there should be no partial association in the State, and that every citizen should express ONLY his own opinion,” meaning, not conforming to the opinions of the political party. This guy knew what he was talking about, too, because the repercussions are very evident today.
See, because of these divisions on the national level we have divisions in our communities, in our churches, and in our own families. The community, and more so the family, should be the one thing that keeps us knit together, but because of opinions, because of differences, they are divided. No wonder the majority of students in the U.S. are turned off by politics! All we see is differences of opinion, division, and chaos created by the convoluted ideas and notions presented as to how this country should be run. Maybe the reason for some of our generations’ apathy is that we haven’t been introduced to and brought up in the atmosphere of meaning and purpose that our relatives have past experienced. Whatever the cause may be, the minority of us who actually care (and yes, we do exist) have our minds pressed with the decision to choose sides, to draw battle lines, and to fight against other Americans for what we think is right.
So after all of the struggle, all of the pressure, I now have come to a final conclusion about everything. Our job as Americans is not to tow the party line. Our job is to act on what we believe in and vote that way, and not conform to what others are trying to impress upon us. Our job is to do our research on who we should vote for and then vote for that person. It is time to abandon our silly ideas about government and political parties and vote for what we believe in. We are the ones who decide what the future holds and I hope and pray we make that future happen by thinking independently.

Within You by Ray LaMontagne

2008-11-01T20:26:00.000-07:00

War is not the answer
The answer is within you

War is not the answer
The answer is within you

Love
Love
Love
Love

War is not the answer
The answer is within you

Love
Love
Love
Love

Oh God

2008-10-05T20:15:00.000-07:00

Oh God, in the right light
We fall face down into a soft darkness.
The timing is mostly not right.
Maybe we should think it over more than twice.

Oh GOD, it's a blinding moment
When one looks directly at it.
The Word is left closed on the floor,
I hope no one comes through that door.

OH GOD! The blood on my hands
Is definitely the wrong color,
But the deed is done, the sword penetrates
And destroys your heart, again.

Nathan Beck and The Palestinian Problem

2008-10-04T15:45:00.000-07:00

Walking into the Cardwell Lecture Hall I really wasn’t expecting so many people to be sitting in the rows of seats before me. I hadn’t heard many people say they were going, but it was a wonderful surprise to see the place packed full of people. The seats were full and there were even people sitting on the floor and standing against the walls. Around the room were maps of Palestine and in the front a slide show was playing, showing picture from the experience that Nathan Beck had undergone for the time he was there. As Nathan got up to speak, the room got silent and he began into what I now know to be the explanation of a serious problem that has been going on in the Middle East for a long, long period of time.
I could go into great detail about what he said but I thought, in view of my limit of space, a few facts would suffice for now. I hope this sparks your interest, especially if you weren’t at the forum:
1. Altogether, 622 people were killed in 2006 due solely to the Israeli occupation of Palestine.
2. Roughly 40% of the male Palestinian population is currently in prison.
3. Thousands upon thousands of Palestinians have fled the country in order to escape the cruelty being administered in their home country.

Those are just three of the statistics that Nathan presented at the forum and there were many more interesting facts passed along during that time, like the wall being built between Palestine and Israel, Jewish settlements in Palestine, and the many issues concerning the Israeli military presence in Palestine.
One story that really stood out to me, and a story that I will end on, was one of a boy Nathan met there in Palestine. Nathan asked the boy what he would say if he had the chance to tell the world anything. The boy thought for a minute and then let out a piercing scream. When Nathan asked him what he meant by screaming like that, the boy said, “For me to scream, they must have ears.”
I hope we, as American citizens, open our ears to listen for the sound of the screams echoing across the globe. I pray that we hear them, whoever and wherever they may be, and we act accordingly. Nathan did a wonderful job describing to us the cry of the Palestinians and I hope to soon hear others rise up on LCU’s campus to tell us of other issues, other shouts, that are reverberating around our world.

On a Common World View

2008-10-04T15:21:00.000-07:00

Iran. Iraq. Saudi Arabia. Palestine. What do these four countries have in common? The obvious answer, of course, is that they are all in the Middle East, but there is another answer to that question that most Americans conjure, though they push it to the back of their minds. It’s more than an answer, it’s a mentality, a stereotypical worldview. It is a barrier, a brick wall that hinders many of us Anglo-Saxons when it comes to our global vision. And it’s dangerous, very dangerous.

Terrorism. When most of this nation thinks Middle East they also think terrorist.

Now it’s time to take a closer look, to think a little bit deeper about this perception we have. Reason with me. Let’s start with a good question: Why do we regard them as terrorist? “That’s easy!”, one may say. “It’s because of the destruction they caused in New York, in Washington D.C.!” Well, that is very true, but let’s take it to another level. Yes, they did cause destruction, yes, they took lives, but when people start pointing fingers in that direction I tend to think, “But hey! What about us?” and that is when the conversation gets heavy, because people don’t think about what we, the represented United States of America, have done. And it gets tricky because God-forbid we say anything contrary to the cause of the USA! But put that all aside for now and just think about how much destruction we have caused. Remember with me Vietnam, Korea, the Suez Canal, even our own Civil War. Yes, we go about and say that we dish out only what is deserved, that our cause has only been noble, but that is where we stumble...
Because they are thinking the same exact thing. Their cause is noble. As a Christian one could even argue that their cause may be more noble than ours! We fight for “justice” which is all well and good, but they are still fighting for God. They don’t believe in Him in quite the same way we do, but “Allah” is still translated “God”. Sure, one may think they are only doing it for the virgins promised them in paradise, but you know, we aspire to something similar. Our view of heaven is different, but we all want to end up in paradise, don’t we?
Then one may say, “But listen! Our religions aren’t the same! We are not like them!” and I beg to differ. True, our faiths are not the same, but where in either scripture (meaning the Koran and our Holy Scriptures) does it say that one person is at a more elevated state than another? To put it bluntly, where does it say that white Christians are any better than dark-skinned Muslims? There is no evidence on earth that constitutes the difference. We are all one whether we like it or not. No prejudice can truly come between our races. We all descend from the same line. Though we are not all brought together in the body of Christ Jesus or in the dedication to the prophet Muhammad we are all still brothers and sisters as a human race. We all bleed in the same color.
In conclusion, I would like remark that I, in this argument, am not trying to justify the death of those who suffered on that fatal day in our nation’s history, or on any memorable day similar, but that I am only trying to consider the overarching truth that says “We are all one”. So before the decision is made to go about labeling people groups as “terrorist” or before our religions are pinned up in comparison with theirs, and most definitely before judgement is passed in any way, just remember that that judgement is on your brother, your sister, your friend, your blood, and in the end, yourself.

Let’s Have a Word, Shall We?

2008-09-18T18:32:00.000-07:00

I am officially a part of my college's newspaper! I will now be posting my articles here on my blog so be looking out for that!

Imagine a time in life where you had an epiphany, a realization. Not a realization like when you found yourself accidentally walking out of your house without pants on, or when you, on many occasions perhaps, realized that you dropped mayonnaise on yourself and there is no time to go change clothes. No. I’m talking about that real life, world-rocking, mind-altering awareness that sticks with you for the rest of your life. That thing inside of you that suddenly bursts forth with force and takes your mind captive. For a while you can think of nothing else. You are consumed by its passion and its intrigue. Are you catching my drift? These moments shape us. They make us new all over again. And one of these moments happened to me not long ago.
The reason this thought even came to me was because, in short, my faith means a lot to me. It is the cornerstone for everything I do, so when I learn something new about it, I get really excited. On the other hand, however, when I hear or sense something negative, something contrary to what should be true, I get frustrated and want to say something about it.
This is where my realization comes in. See, I opened my eyes one morning to find a generation of Christian young men and women walking around with eyes wide open and mouths sealed shut. I looked around and saw them all scurrying here and there fixing, building, giving, even teaching, but there was no sound! The only time I saw a mouth open was when the the Truth was being given out, but even that went sour within them. The only words to hear were the words of our lost brothers and sisters calling out for the same Truth that was making our belt buckles burst, but it was as if no one could hear them.
I see this picture and I desperately want it to change. We as Christians have lived on the message of “if I just live in a way that honors Christ people will notice” for too long. It is time for us to go beyond that! Our lives as a picture of Christ is a brilliant foundation for our declaration, but speaking out about the Gospel of Christ is the capstone of the example we give as believers and followers. In the Word, those who are lost are most frequently described as “blind”. If those who do not know Christ are supposedly “blind” then it would make more sense for us to speak for them to hear! Where are our voices? When the opportunity comes along to share the Truth with someone, one can almost see the words of our mouths retreating to hide behind the barrier we put up to keep ourselves from feeling vulnerable. It is now time to call on Christ to break those walls down and to supply you with the words that you have avoided for so long.
I challenge you now, brothers and sisters, to take off the mask you have formed from your Christian education, your reliability on a “action-only” doctrine, and your fear of rejection (for fear is the basis for all of our hesitancy), and let your voice go along side your deeds to declare that Jesus Christ is King. If our Father is on our side, who can stand in our way, right?

The Tree of a Time in Life

2008-09-04T20:13:00.000-07:00

A tree branch
And we sat still
We couldnt move but
We hadnt will
Looking around we couldn't believe our eyes
In a trance we fell silent by ourselves

A break of quiet
And words come out
Soaring to other worlds
In Holy Form
Marching on to wage war against the foe
We almost float away in the breeze it renders

A big ordeal
And we clamber down
To face the music
And we trudge so willingly back to whence we came
Unhindered by the barrier, the barrier that is right in front of us
One we don't surpass before we part in a frenzy.

The End

2008-08-28T19:06:00.000-07:00

Into the land the traveler went
Where the rain always pours and the wind wont relent
He pressed on to reach the unreachable end
O prolonged journey! Our lives it does bend!

Why was there no sign to let this poor man know
That there is no reward at the end of the road?
He must have been blinded by the snow and the sleet,
And just couldn't back down, couldn't accept a defeat.

So solemn he stood, weary and broken-hearted
He found that the end was the place that he started.

Sanctitatis by Future of Forestry

2008-08-20T09:44:00.000-07:00

Vere Sanctus es
Domine Fons omnis sanctitatis
Domine

Sanctitatis by Future of Forestry

Your Lips Are Scarlet

2008-07-19T00:19:00.000-07:00

A powerful song
Flows straight from your lips
But I cant make out all the words
Dont get me wrong
Yeah, I've come to grips
But what I saw was almost absurd

What can you say
When its already been said
Plain words can not possibly work
Ill go on my way
And Ill try not to dread
Those phrases that make my heart jerk

Your lips are scarlet
Your lips are scarlet
They move like the springtime
Even when there is no rhyme
To utter, not breath to be had
Your lips are scarlet

And you move
Like the rhythm
Of the wind and the rain
And there's silence
In the hard times
When there's nothing to gain

But there is one thing that is always the same
One t

Your lips are scarlet
Your lips are scarlet
They move like the springtime
Even when there is no rhyme
To utter, no breath to be had
Your lips are scarlet.

Your lips are scarlet.

2008-07-08T09:38:00.000-07:00

It is a problem when one cannot do what one loves to do. When the singer can't sing, when the drummer can't drum, and most of all, when the writer can't seem to write. What happens to one's being when the desire is there but the ability, or better yet, the inspiration, is gone? And what is it that steals such a thing as inspiration? Maybe the single answer to this question will never be known but there are many answers that apply to a single person's situation. For one person it may be that something horrible happened to them. Something painful...traumatic enough to be able to yank out the life one once lived and twist it into something dark and empty. For another person it may be that they let their inspiration get out of hand and let it hurt them, or even worse, hurt someone else whom they loved. One can hardly see that happening, but it does. One must reign in their thoughts, feelings, etc and use them for their own true purpose. If one doesn't and lets their thoughts and feelings do exactly what they want then you potentially will end up causing a kind of "war of mind" which pillages and sometimes burns the sanctity of one's relationships and one's own ability to interact efficiently with one's own self. Some people call that "going nuts" or in some extreme cases "losing touch with reality".

But really the number one reason for a loss of inspiration is an infliction of unintentional blindness. Blindness not to physical objects or light but to one's own true self. It can be inflicted by many different things. It can happen when one thinks one has found something or someone that will make their life better but actually distracts or even intentionally removes inklings and ideas from one's soul. Sure, this removal can be caused by a person but usually its caused by other things. Your new big screen television. Your brand new convertible. You new and improved video camera. A sparkling 2.1 carat diamond(s). Your high tech computer. Even your new pair of 100 dollar shoes.
Or how about your collection of movies. Or music. Or video games.
Or your magazines. Seventeen. Vogue. US Weekly. Maxim.

Things. Things are the number one reason for blindness.

So...to continue to be inspired one must become aware.
See your surroundings and understand your situations. Look for yourself instead of getting lost in the emptiness of other people's fantasies. For one to truly be inspired, and in turn inspire others, one must, MUST, escape the vacuum of popular culture, break free from the vice of modern technology, and make oneself able to handle entering into our new and improved world without being trapped by it. If a person can do that then that person is freer than a lot of people on this crazy train named Earth.

And also don't forget, true freedom is found only in the one we call Father. He invented inspiration and creativity. He created everything. We owe it all to Him.

2008-06-10T11:28:00.000-07:00

A photo of photos
A blinking shudder
Indecency
Would make anyone shudder

A shot in the dark
A hit or a miss
Savagery
Its a home that we miss

A long ride back
A dive and a ditch
Helplessness
A memory we would ditch

A slob in a house
On the couch, doesn't move
Indolence
Solid hearts won't move

2008-06-01T23:43:00.000-07:00

I was wrong today. I was not Christ-like. Let me tell you what happened.

I work at a swell company called National/Alamo Rent-a-Car. They have been good to me so far and have not put too much stress on me, which is good. I do, however, have to work the late shift until 12 on the weekends. What I do for the company is simple; i wash the cars that are brought in after the customer has finished using the vehicle. This is a simple yet time consuming job. (and you should see all of the nastyness that people leaving in those cars...its horrifying sometimes)

Tonight was just like any other night except we had an excess of cars on the lot that needed to be cleaned because of this festival thing that the company had on Friday. this is where the trouble started. The morning shift guys (bunch of bums if you ask me) decided that many of them wouldn't complete their 40 cars (our quota). so in the end we were left with 38 extra cars and one guy to do them, that one guy being me. So, the MOD (manager on duty), james, started to wash cars too. By 1130 i had completed my 40 cars (30 min early you morning shift slobs!) and needed that 30 extra minutes to close up but ole james was determined to finish the cars. "We must close clean!" he said with a downcast yet dignified look on his face. so long story short, I left him there with about 20 cars to clean at 12 o clock a.m. What is wrong with me? I should have stayed and helped him finish! He is probably still working out there and im sitting here in bed typing! I am so selfish. I didn't even think about him. All i was thinking about was myself. Hopefully I can earn my respect from him again somehow. Poor fellow.

Oh, and I took a hot pocket from the fridge that wasn't mine. And a Dr. Pepper. And a couple burritos. And someone else's water. Not at the same time, mind you...but over time I've done these things. and I owe Sam a dollar.

Father,
I am a sinner. In seriousness, my heart has moved from your presence. I have missed you and I pray that you have missed me too. Please forgive my sinful existence. I dont deserve your love and mercy.
Please be with Robbie as he is overseas fighting others. Keep him safe. Be with all of my missionary friends and all of the missionaries in our world. Including those who belong where they started. So i guess i pray for all true Christians then. Be with our body. I pray that it sticks together and never falls apart.
YOu are great and glorious my Lord and I magnify your name with all of my heart for as long as I live, whether in valley or mountain top. Whether in the desert or in the oasis. You are our God and we praise you in wheatever state we are in. We love you. Thank youf or your son dying for us. We never will deserve that blessing and honor. In Your Son's Name,
Amen

Take Some Time

2008-05-24T11:40:00.000-07:00

If I had time
I'd watch the sun
Wake with the dawn
And go back to sleep
Where it began

If I had time
I'd take it in
I'd see the stars
Sparkle like crystal
And twitter to daybreak

I must make time
To live my life
To live for Him
And smell the flowers
Because He made them.

A/Muse

2008-05-06T15:24:00.000-07:00

I will love more
I wont keep score
I will aid the poor
He will open the door.

We will give life
He will end strife
They will bend the knife
They will protect the wife

Read our moving lips
The tide turning tips
It falls, generation slips
To Him the true hand grips

And the body in which that hand is connected, lives.

End of the Foolishness

2008-05-05T14:02:00.001-07:00

I had an epiphany. At least I think I did...or I just remembered something that had been forgotten. I was sitting here at the computer, minding my own business, reading some blogs, ya know, the usual, and it hit me. What hit me, you ask? Did the over usage of commas hit you? No. Did redundancy hit you? Not quite. Ill tell you, but i must start by giving you some background...do doo do doo(music from Twilight Zone)...
I, Landon Shuman, as you can see from my blog, love the literary arts. I love poetry and prose with equal amounts of intesity. I would say that I have a passion for it. To prove this, I am currently reading "Going After Cacciato" by Tim O'Brien. And it's not for school, it's because I want to. And because Tim O'Brien is the most incredible writer from the Vietnam War era.
Anywho, I also, for some time now, have been pondering on a subject matter for a novel. Yes, I want to write a novel. And here comes the problem.
Also for some time now I have not had Father on the forefront of my mind. Oh, he's definitely in there, it's I've been a positively horrific mess in my order of priorities. To put it simply, I am selfish, judgemental, and critical. And I also have been putting myself first, which, as we all know, and as I have recently been reminded, is a bum deal.
So, the connection of my novel with my distance from Father is clear. I have been thinking of writing things like how the rich are just as devilish and nasty as the poor except they are better at it because they can hide behind their money or the story of a man whose life is a distraught INCOMPLETE mess and no one knows it. A sort of Great Gatsby, but not really.
So the statement that finally came into my silly little mind just now was this: (our Father speaking) You, for one, are not connecting with Me. You know, you can include me on this. I am the Author of Life after all. It makes sense to, really. And two, you need not be incomplete. Or even feel that way. People's feelings come out in their thoughts, and for writers, in their written words. So now it's time to remember Me. I am in you and you know it, just put Me first for crying out loud. It's not so hard, or bad, and it won't cramp your style. You can even write about the sorts of things you want to, just include me, ok? This world was made so that you could do what you are attempting to do, so just invite Me, ok? I can help you out and you will be filled too so you get a bonus package along with My Presence. You need Me. So just have Me. Agreed?

Of course I agree. I have been so silly. Maybe even foolish. I could go on and on now, but i really think the most appropriate thing to do right now would be to pray.

Father,
I agree. I am so simple. Thank you for being our holy and merciful God. The one who knows our inmost being. The Ruler of His Children. The Author. The Maker. Thank you for revelation. Thank you for epiphany, its really a useful thing. Thank you also for granting us with passions and loves. I pray that we share those things with others and not keep them to ourselves. Thank you for being relevant and helpful, even when you don't have to be. You could be doing anything but you desire to stand with us. You are unbelievable, but i believe in You. Thank you, God. Thank you, our inconcievable Father.
It's in your fully human and fully divine Son we pray,
Amen

Why Not?

2008-04-28T21:02:00.000-07:00

Be my absolution
Be my absolution
Be the one who changes my ways
My ears are cinder, just add water

Make a resolution
Make a resolution
Ancient are the months, the days
Not at all mine, she's your daughter

End my destitution
End my destitution
Locked in a never-ending maze
Walking endlessly, sway and totter

and in a way we can't escape, but do we really desire such a fate? No, we don't. Because we die daily, and we mistake pain for pleasure. Maybe we will get a clue and turn our pain and suffering into His glory. Because that is what it was meant to be in the first place.

Enough Said

2008-04-10T10:09:00.000-07:00

I will use my words to speak a silence.
A silence that not many understand.
Something that can shake the world
without even the lift of a hand.
The crowds shake in its aurora
and tremble when they hear nothing
coming from unquivering lips.
And we will know who we really are
down in the deep, dark fullness of our hearts.
We will share a crown
when before we couldn't even share a handshake.
And when we wear it so
we will finally see a sad display,
the one we actually were.

Selah.

2008-04-06T14:35:00.000-07:00

Lullaby

2008-03-28T22:23:00.000-07:00

Go to sleep and ill be there
All wrapped up in your dreams
Where my life fall short here
Ill make up for it all there
I wish there was a better way
To tell you...

Im in love. With you.

Sleep now and don't awaken
Until your heart is full again
The sun will change your life
But not in the same way
There must be a way
To say...

I love you.

2008-03-13T19:22:00.001-07:00

I am new
I am old
I am weak
I am bold
I've been hot
You've been cold...

You are just
You aren't fair
You don't laugh
You don't care
I just stop
You just stare...

I'm made up
You are real
I am numb
And you can't feel
I just hide
You just conceal...

I am tired
So are you
I dont know
I know you do
We both care
We'll get a clue...

Faith is good
Give it a try
I can't speak
I don't know why
This is no joke
I will never lie...

I am black
You are blue
It all fits
Just like a shoe
Pressing on
Like real people do.

Also:

God is good
Like crazy glue
Sticking to me
Stuck on to you
Stuck together...

It's what we want to do.

Warriors

2008-02-29T14:36:00.000-08:00

Death do us part
is what we said
Right through my heart
A piece of lead
Wheeled in a cart
I am half-dead

We kill to win
And do attack
There goes my friend
To a piece of flak
No, not again
His eyes go black

We fly so well
We go so high
Hit by a shell
Oh no, oh my
I am so young
Don't want to die

Continue on
Because he said
Berlin by dawn
Is what I read
But he's not the one
Whose as good as dead

Been fifty years
Since that last fight
But I still cry tears
And sweat in the night
Instilled with fears
'til I loose my sight

War

2008-02-28T17:29:00.000-08:00

We start out bright and then we fall
There's not a way to cure it all
Another tough break is what we need
Another dead and pointless deed
We walk a lot, to no avail
The water is warm, the bread is stale
Eat it up with a smile on
Even when we feel all hope is gone

The ground is soft just like a bed
Surrounded by small beads of lead
Don't act surprised, just let it go
We'll make sure your parents know...

What's left of you in on some stone
Dirt and rock, not flesh and bone
They always stop and wonder who
You wonder what those slobs will do
But they just stare and move along
Like there was nothing ever wrong

...So there you are, eyes pale and fading
Beads sure are good at eliminating

Sideshow

2008-01-27T22:44:00.000-08:00

A clown came by
saw the look on my face
and laughed
i guess i cant pull off the mask

A magician came by
told me i was a disgrace
and laughed
I didnt even try to ask

An emo kid came by
saw the tear in my eye
and laughed
i guess the hair in my face doesnt work

A demon came by
even he started to cry
but laughed
he knows in what depths i lurk

What ever will I do?

Repent.

A minister came by
into his heart i did see
i laughed
He has the same sin as me

I didnt laugh at him
I laughed at us
We are the wretched poor
the entire human populous

Lets go now
To an Eden not of earth
Free from evil
Free from mirth

The time is now
and we must go
removed from this
endless freak show

The circus is gone
our performance is done
lets live our lives
in the light of the Son.

Orchestra

2008-01-22T21:04:00.000-08:00

The pointer is up
And conductor is poised
And isn't expecting
This type of noise
His plans were so simple
But now covered in sweat
As the "musician" blares on
His awkward trumpet

The cymbals now clash
The crowd jumps with a start
It seems just as if
They all forgot the first part
Of the beautiful music
They were all meant to play
I guess it just slipped their minds
To practice that day

A painful disturbance
The pianist is making
The crowd now stands up
Such a beating they're taking
It is terrible enough
To make a grown person cry
As the flutist suddenly groans
And immediately dies

But one musician remains poised.

He waited patiently still
Without the ruckus distracting
He wouldn't react
To the others contracting
Then the pandemonium ceased
The crowd leaving, was staying
As the lone violinist
Began with his playing

It was a pouring of heart
Some just wont understand
The precision, the beauty
The moving of his right hand

One cant help but just listen
If you don't want to, you must
Because it's the only true way
To be free and to trust

The people were moved
clapping in awe, very loudly
And the violinist bowed
And gave thanks to them proudly.

In the end was applause
For the performer, a win
Because he didn't give in
To the myriad of sin.

Forgive

2008-01-11T23:21:00.000-08:00

I will continue on with a similar thought from Linley Jones.

Forgiveness, in certain circumstances, does not involve a "Man A" and a "Man B". In many scenarios there is but one party, and that is YOU and YOURSELF. Forgiving oneself is a difficult thing to do. There is no one else that knows your innermost thoughts but you and Father so it becomes rather hard to relay to yourself what needs to happen within yourself. It is difficult for one to put oneself outside of the body and see the true crisis going on inside.

So stop. Think. What is making you unable to look into the mirror? What is making your heart feel this way?

Once one finds out what the plague is, the only way to end the battle within is to let God forgive you. Let Father forgive you. Ask Him. Ask Him passionately. Only then will you be able to forgive your own self.

If HE takes it then you dont have it anymore, do you? So give it and be free. Please.

For your own sake, for ours, let your heart be clean again.

We are dirty, perverted thieves without it. I want a clean garment.

Lord,
I pray that were released from our self-inflicted suffering. we lift our broken and filthy hands to be cleansed. I know we dont deserve it, but please, forgive us. We are wrong without your presence. Your love. Clean us, Father, our skin is black with earth. Free us from captivity. Us Israel. You YAHWEH.
In your sons name,
Amen

His son.

Help

2008-01-08T21:40:00.000-08:00

The LORD is our Rock, our strong fortress. We shall dwell in Him just as He dwells in us. Our Father comforts us in times of sorrow and woe. My heart burns with pain but the LORD, YAHWEH, restores me with oil and water. I cry out, and He hears me. Our God is YAHWEH and He watches over His lambs. My soul runs dry but He fills it with living waters that rush out like a mighty river. I bow down and you touch my head with your healing hand. Save us, and save us again. We fall into the raging sea again and again yet you calm the waters for us every time. Be with us in our hard times. Perseverance is our hope and prayer.

We love you Father for our hope is in you. I pray for a creditless return on my part, and that all glory is Yours my Father.

Who is God but YAHWEH? No one. That's who.

Sunday is soon.

In the good times and the bad, your helpless son,
Landon

The March

2008-01-07T21:38:00.001-08:00

As the crowd marches on in my heart i move on to one thing after another.
I look around and my friends are not gone but i find myself still undercover.

A low profile i keep as a wander about and i look for You day after day.
I notice my feet, they are stuck to the ground and i pray that i dont go astray.

The march, it moves forward and im caught in the middle, i see light but i hope it grows brighter.
I stand still in the crowd and it makes me feel little, if i had one i would hold up a lighter.

And maybe i do, its just deep in my soul, if i reach i will most likely feel it.
its the effort that counts, its what will make me whole, those who march will most definately see it.

To them, maybe nothing as i atand here exposed, but to you I AM complete.
You move in my heart and im collect and composed, with You i am not obsolete.

In Him,
landon

Clearly

2007-12-16T23:50:00.000-08:00

Askew....a mark the enemy loves. Missions aimed at these two small spheres. Making a hard heart solid. Blocking what would clearly be truth. Father, relieve me. Clearly my heart can still breathe, or so it seems. Or should it be "releave" me? For i am low and you are love. But you cannot releave...you never left...
Why did you not go? I kill life in a bowl but you comfort me still. Life...it sits there already dead, so small and so fragile. Not me, but it...them? My heart clearly cries tears for the martyrs of mirth. Stuck in a bowl, no hope, no chance to live the life they could have lived. Or at least one.
I pray i dont kill, maim, or destroy. These chances of God can not go to waste. They are love, they are truth, they are posibilities living. I mourn for the ones that are gone but i will now rejoice for the ones to come, for they will not die in the bowl, but live elsewhere. Clearly...clearly life will begin.

Father,
Forgive, heal, erase. Please. Embrace, Care, nurture. Please. Give, Take, Bless. Please. Plan, Go, Live, Be, Create, Enjoy, Deliver, Remember, Delight, Cry, Laugh, Sing, Shine. Please. Love.
Your unworthy son

I Will

2007-12-06T22:13:00.000-08:00

I'm gonna, run straight into the ocean blue
I'll make my way closer to you
I'll do some things i would otherwise not do
yeah Ill go with it.

Ill spill truth into a microphone
Look out the other side just to hear them groan.
Ill make a name out of what is unknown.
yeah Ill go with it.

Ill make sure you are listening,
then turn it up loud, make your ears ring
Who would ever do such a thing?
yeah ill go with it.

Then ill...pick up and move on from here
Ill run back across the ocean without feeling fear
Find a place to make some gray skies clear.......

yeah, let get on with that.

yeah.

It Was Broken When I Bought It

2007-12-06T21:52:00.000-08:00

A Mistake, that's for sure
And my eyes still love it
Cracked and Impure
But I'm not above it
Though it is destroyed and will destroy even more
I buy and i buy opening my festering sore.

Deep in my Skin
Yet I hold on to it tightly
Will I ever win?
Or will i just take it lightly?
A fact I will fail, or a victory waiting?
One or the latter, thin ice I am skating.

My heart, it will sigh
But I know You are healing
Though I buy and i buy
You will change how Im feeling
By buying it back, with a refund as well
He tears from my soul what once brought me closer to hell.

Thank You Father.

And It Was Blurred By The Light

2007-12-04T07:48:00.000-08:00

...And It was Blurred by the Light
And He could tell things were not right
something with him that he could barely fight
but he could...
he could but will he be so strong?
or will things turn to be all wrong?
this is the chorus to a miserable song.
yes it is...
it is but must he sing?
what kind of hell would it bring?
where is the King?
hes here...
hes here, but will he appear?
remove all fear?
make things clear?
I sure hope so...
Hope so.

Not Me Please

2007-12-02T22:29:00.000-08:00

I will not be something I dont need to be. Is it good, however, to be content with who I am? Im going to venture out and respond with an enthusiastic "Maybe". It depends on how you think it through. We need and SHOULD be in a constant state of change. we have little choice to stay the same because the people, places, and things (or the "nouns") are constantly effecting us. We adapt. But i would say that our core...the center of our being is to remain the same. We are who we are. We will not ever be anyone else, even if we try. Our core never changes and, in fact, is in pain when one tries to be someone they are not.

So, what im getting at is...I will not be something I dont need to be. I will not be more like you. I will only be more like Christ. I will not seek truth in one thing, because truth is in all things.

Like our spirits (and by spirits i mean our inmost being), our faith should be in a constant state of change. The "nouns" are also constantly effecting our faith. It adapts and reacts. I would say the Bible is our faith's core...the center and foundation. Its not our entire faith...its not the whole thing, but it is the real deal. It is what it is and it wont be anything but what it is now, even if we try to change it. In fact, the world cries in pain when we try to make faith something it isnt. thats when the rocks cry out. Id say that, though the rocks would cry out his glory, part of that cry would also be pain that would be inflicted on the world if faith was distorted in all of our minds. Granted, faith is already distorted in some of our minds...but we know that some of us are right on...the rocks havent burst forth with pain and praise yet.

The world got close to that once, though. The rocks were ready to scream. Gladly, they didnt. Or maybe they did. What a horrid day that was. It was more terrible than Hiroshima, Auschwitz, New Orleans, the Twin Towers, The Fire in London, the Black Plague, or War itself. It, was the beginning of all war. But unlike an unknown soldiers bullet started all of the other conflicts, on this occasion the weapon of choice tasted like heaven. The sad thing was that tasting heaven isn't really heaven. In fact, heaven left. Thats what happens when one is greedy...one gets something they really dont want...and in this case we inherited death. We inherited the Knowledge of Good and Evil. From fruit. And that was the day the rocks almost shrieked.

"Though my nature is opposite of yours, Father, i need you. Your nature become mine. Let Love reign in me and let not my lips be given to the stones."

Plea

2007-11-06T22:28:00.000-08:00

I have sinned before Yahweh our God. -King David

David was an amazing guy.

Psalm 49

For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.

1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.

2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.

4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.

5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

6 Surely you desire truth in the inner parts [a] ;
you teach [b] me wisdom in the inmost place.

7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.

9 Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.

10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.

12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.

14 Save me from bloodguilt, O God,
the God who saves me,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.

15 O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.

16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

17 The sacrifices of God are [c] a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.

18 In your good pleasure make Zion prosper;
build up the walls of Jerusalem.

19 Then there will be righteous sacrifices,
whole burnt offerings to delight you;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.

We have done wrong in his sight but he favors us. He loves us so much. I dont think David has been the only one after Gods own heart...because a lot of us strive to be like that every day. I pray that we all long for that. That we put our sins to the sword and love the Father without condition...love others without reservation.

I have sinned against Yahweh our God.-Landon Shuman

In God...

2007-11-02T22:57:00.000-07:00

...We trust everything we hear. From them all. Him. Her. Them. What movies to watch...or not watch. What music to listen to. Where to go...What to do. How to act. Who to talk to. What to wear. Who to associate with and who not to. What to be. What to believe in. And from there, how to believe. We trust others to tell us what we are.

I want to trust in something else. In Him. In Him i can be. What i believe in. How i act. What i hear. what i see. Who i associate with. Who i serve. what i give. Where i go. What I do. I will trust Him who made me to help me be who I am. Because we were made to be who we are. What we should be.

God..what am i doing?...

Why Are You So Sad.

2007-10-26T23:08:00.000-07:00

"Death Of An Interior Decorator" by Death Cab for Cutie

You were the mother of three girls so sweet
Who stormed through your turnstile
And climbed to the street
But after conception your body lay cold
And withered through autumn and you found yourself old

Can you tell me why you have been so sad?
He took a lover on a faraway beach
While you arrange flowers and chose color schemes

Can you tell me why you have been so sad?
Can you tell me why you have been so sad?

The girls were all there
They traded their vows
The youngest one glared with furrowed brows
They tenderly kissed then cut the cake
The bride then tripped and broke the vase
The one you thought would spend the years
So perfectly placed below the mirror
Arriving late, you clean the debris
And walked into the angry sea

It felt just like falling in love again [x2]

Can you tell me why you have been so sad?
Can you tell me why you have been so...

"Sometimes its just harder to find the right thing...giving up would be so so easy. But dont. The angry sea wont do justice to anyone. Let Father work. Do. Move. Breathe. Change."

Foreign Land

2007-10-24T11:25:00.000-07:00

As i wander i see the greatness of my surroundings. I see brilliant lights and a darkened sea. I keep on wandering, wondering if there is a place for me. I know there is, but where, but how? With who? Anyone, someone? I want a tunnel to walk through. To look left or right would result in nothing, only forward it would take me. The choice would be made. Final. But there arent any tunnels here. Not for me, not for this. So i just see you. You. I walk to you. Your arms are enough for me now. I just want the Father. Our Father. To guide me when i walk. To take me to that place. And then maybe we can all pitch in and build that tunnel.

Psalm 71

An Answer

2007-10-22T22:40:00.000-07:00

Why do things have to be a certain way? A big question for me lately. Well i know the answer to that. They dont. Things dont have to be a certain way. who ever said that one must do this or one must be that for things to be ok? whoever did, i dont know them. And quite frankly, whoever said that was a fool. Things dont have to be a certain way. Maybe life isnt designed for everyone to be happy. Actually i know this to be truth. Read Luke. Somewhere in there it talks about the cost of being a disciple. it also talks about Jesus coming to cause DIVISION. What do i mean by all of this? I guess this is just for the people who are single minded. People who must have things their way. I regret to say that i am one of those...and im changing too. Strides are being made. Just remember though, im not necessarily hear to please you. Dont get me wrong, I would love to please you but know that I will do things you dont like. I will believe things that i know to be true. Even if you think othewise. I am ME. I am Landon Shuman. Gods son. Your brother.

This is for no one but you. You all. Everyone. I hope everyone considers that question. Its a good question.

I hurt for sleep. Its time to search for unconscienceness. (im pretty sure that i spelled that wrong.)

Thinking

2007-10-16T21:27:00.000-07:00

It sucks because i cant. I have nothing going on. I feel like im on standby or something. Thinking doesnt come easily. Maybe its God given. Maybe. Maybe we are meant to stop thinking about things sometimes. I guess that makes sense. Im kind of going through withdrawals i think...so many things were taking up my thought process and now it seems like nothing is around to keep my mind moving. I need to do something that stimulates thought. What though? im going to go read the bible...or donald miller. or both. i think im trying to hard. yeah...definately trying to hard.

Our Things

2007-10-11T16:12:00.000-07:00

What are these things? what do we have? we have everything we need. we have everything. What do we need...do we need these rooms? this entertainment? this food? these things? i beg to differ.... They make me fall. they make me hurt. they are sad. dead. lifeless things that take our lives and cut them short. sitting here. sedentary. fat. really, utterly dead. Dead.

Give me a sunset. Sunrise. Starlight. Ocean wave. A hill. A mountain. A tree. A Person. Give me a life to connect to. Give me a heart to soften. Give me a soul to touch. Give me a spirit to walk with. Give me THE Spirit. Ill use it. Ill go.

Got that off my chest...phew, I think ill go play some video games in a dark room with no one around.

Yeah.

What I(we) Must Do

2007-10-08T12:06:00.000-07:00

Compassion: Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.

Yeah. Why not? Isnt it so simple? Find something. If you care then you stop thinking about yourself all the time.

Take care of the poor.
Feed the homeless.
Give shelter to the shelterless.
Embrace your friends.
Love the enemy. Love the hated.
Mourn with those who mourn.
Laugh in times of laughter.
Dont quit on everyone else. Even if they quit on you.
Die for your fellow man.

Because Jesus did. There is no other reason i could give.

Now stated, then comes the follow through. Let not my selfishness get in the path.

Here Is...He Is

2007-10-02T22:04:00.000-07:00

Bring it back around now. A smile may be hard to come by. Keep it coming by as much as you can. Real ones though, not fake. The One is Jesus. Thats reason enough. Make a noise, joyful. At least try. Just once. Even a try changes things. Move on, move forward. Do whats right. Break free. Fight clean. Breathe out. Conquer. HALLELUJAH.

Killing the old man.

Washing

2007-09-26T22:05:00.000-07:00

it rained today.

I ran into it.

Thank you Father.

Cleansed. White. Snow.

Changed.

Surrounded

2007-09-23T15:17:00.000-07:00

its times like this that people dont know about. the times we are here...just sitting here, just doing what we do and suddenly it happens. That feeling you have been feeling for weeks finally engulfs you. its then when you stop doing what you do...sit up..and you dont know what to do but cry. All the questions, those WHY questions, catch up to you. "Why am I here?" "Why did i/You choose this?" "Why him, why her, why them?" "Why cant i think clearly?" You realize that you arent happy. Not content. Even though you want to be. It feels like four walls are finally close enough to have you where they want you. Trapped in a tiny, little box. What life is this? And you cry.

I guess these times happen because God likes to see hope. Because in those tears, those small, obscure vessels of moisture, are prayers of hope. A longing. A reaching out for a hand. A small, quiet step forward. A small flare in the bitter darkness.

2 Corinthians 7:10-11

2007-09-19T11:33:00.000-07:00

What will be different? Do I know? Because from in here it looks like a lot of the same thing. But i can put myself there and its totally different. It breathes. It moves me. Its a feeling that is hard to describe. I want to go there so bad. My heart longs to leave this place and enter into that clean, pure, unadultered freedom. Jesus is there. He's here, but he is really there. His name isnt abused there like it is here. I know i have to wait...but its so hard! I just want to end my time here, cut it short, and just move on. Get to where I really feel like being. Some people see endless opprotunity here but all i see is a cage in which we all reside. Stuck, blind and tired. Chastised by worldly things...even some things we dont think are worldly are worldy things. Religion. Denomonation. Success. Education. I want to move somewhere without walls. And i will. Im going to go there. I really hope, with the naiivity of my heart, that the grass is greener over there.

Im going to make it. Im going to make it an oasis. An oasis down the street with its red fruit hanging from its black, darkened trees. its black night sky tracing a scarlet moon. And ill be there, my blood coarsing through my veins like a stallion being tamed by its master, a dark rider. The black and red letters in my Book still guiding me. My heart, then, will shine as ruby shines among blackened stones. And I will be in that place. I will.

My Own Hand In My Face

2007-09-12T11:19:00.000-07:00

Where did it go? I had it and now its gone. I want it back so bad. My heart hurts for it. I crave it but i find you not persuing it. Why are you just standing still? This bubble you're in makes it hard to breathe. Get out of there! I want it badly, dont you see?!! Get your hand out of you face and look! There is much, much more to see than what you are looking at. Can you not feel its presence? Its right here but you just close your ears and pluck out your eyes daily. DAILY. And it hurts. And you know it hurts. Quit numbing yourself. You aren't invincible but you aren't just some no one either. You matter, even though you sometimes dont feel like you do. Concentrate on what you can do now. Stop waisting time...the time you have been given. You are blessed. I know that because I blessed you. So give it to me...i want it back. I want back your passion and love and concern for my glory being known. I want you to remember who you are. Who you are. WHO YOU REALLY ARE. Be you for me. Simple. Not Easy. But it can be done. I know because I've been there. So take heart and know that you are you for me and my Glory. You are loved. So love because you mean it. Care again. its all waiting for you...now you just have to take it and run for it. Straight to me. And ill be there. All the way. Right to the end.

Space Between the End and the Beginning

2007-08-26T11:46:00.000-07:00

Away, Away
Sprint.
Fire on the end with blazing gun.
Faster, Quickly
Go.
Reach for the beginning, bright like the sun.
Chase. Catch
End.
Finish this race, this race you continue to run.
Clean, Fresh
Free.
The end won't destroy, you are more than done.

Here Now

2007-08-22T21:47:00.001-07:00

This time of life is different. I feel strange. Here is what it is. I am very, very unexcited about being where I am. There are things that im excited about...but the overall feeling is not that great. its not bad...i just dont like where I am. Strangely, God has sent me to be here for this time of my life. I pray that i meet the people He wants me to be light to. The people who will reach into my life and me into theirs. I pray that life moves in the direction that is most benificial for the capital K Kingdom of God. I pray that He uses me to shake things up here. Rattle the cages, ya know? Break down barriers...even barriers that the believers here have put up. And then in turn...others break down some of my barriers...whatever they are. Pray. Prayer will create the tidal wave that is God's movement on our campuses...in our workplaces...our own M fields. lets do it together. Great things are happening and will happen soon in His name. rock on.

Home

2007-08-15T10:17:00.000-07:00

Continue now, O heart of mine, home is sure to come.
Your longing for a resting place gives you the urge to run.

Follow now, O heart that longs, the pathway set before you.
Do not look fast from left to right, forward motion makes us new...and new.

You aren't home yet, O heart that mourns, but the seconds are ticking by.
Be light, be nimble, be pressing on, keep moving and you will not die.

But remember...

Movement is not a busy thing to keep one's heart from ceasing.
Movement is a condition to keep His love always increasing.

So welcome to your resting place, O heart that presses on.
His love is where you can rest your head until your days are gone.

Stadtgarden

2007-08-13T23:00:00.000-07:00

Remembering walking down that stone-paved street next to the old church takes my breath away. The church's simple grandure reaches and is almost reflected off of the dark blue sky. Looking ahead to the magnificent trees growing in the Stadtgarden brings tears to my eyes as I pray and walk into the embrace of this fortress of peace. The gravel under my feet is course and comfortable as I walk along the path in my paper-thin sandals. The golden light of the setting sun pours through the leaves and rests on the tall, soft grass. Stopping in the middle I look around at what God has created and I am at ease with the knowledge that I am a part of it, a part of creation. I cling to that moment, that moment of climactic joy. A sudden sorrow does hit me as I realize that my last time at Stadtgarden has come but my prayer for God's presence there will linger in the gravel and the grass and the leaves until those same things are my blanket as I rest near that tree whose leaves reflect the golden light of the setting Son.

Hey

2007-08-12T13:06:00.000-07:00

so i have time to think more now that ive created time for myself to think so i thought i could post some of those things here for your viewing pleasure.