Moksha

I know not me
I am not I
I am you
I am nothing
I am nothing tangible

Let go

We are each other,
eternally
I know the end,
And the beginning of everything
I, we, us, everything lifted higher.

Blessed holy light!
The soul beats the rhythm of the nations,
Combined into Majesty!
The divine made known to the Redeemed!

Holy eternity gives the touch of heaven
to the fallen, completed heart.

Praise Him.

LIfe

So I haven't been here in a while. And possibly that means I have been too busy doing more important things. Like living life. I don't think anyone really reads this blog unless I tell people I have written in it so I'm possibly relaying all of this therapeutically more than anything.

A recap of my family's and my life since January:

An earthquake in Haiti...Fear, Anxiety, Stress, Sadness
A new Child, Amanda...Sudden Change resulting in Stress, Adaptation
Courtney w/ Pneumonia-Fear, Stress, Panic
Courtney's Thyroid Removal-Stress, Fear, Uncertainty

I suppose that is a lot to go through in one month. But I am so thankful for God. It is because of him we can say "Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the LORD will be my light" Micah 6:8

As a side note, I deleted Facebook today. My wife Courtney did the same thing last week and inspired me to do the same. It's strange what we feel strange about sometimes. Even though I was hardly on that site, I felt some odd hesitation about it. LIke I was losing something. I suppose that is a small taste of what the rich ruler might have felt if he would have given away his riches. Some odd remorse even though he would surely know his actions were based on sound principles.

Anyhow, until next time, whenever that will be.

Landon

Everyday, you have to say yes. Total Surrender! To be where he wants you to be. If he puts you on the street, and everything is taken from you, and suddenly you find yourself in the street, to accept to be on the street at that moment, not for you to put yourself in the street, but to accept to be put there. This is the difference.

To Accept!

If God wants you to be int eh Palace, well then to accept to be in the Palace, so long as you are not choosing to be in the Palace. This is the difference. This is what made the difference, in total surrender. To accept whatever He givees and to give whatever it takes with a big smile.

This is the surrender to God!

To accept to be cut to pieces, yet each piece belonging only to Him. To accept the people that come, and the work that you happen to do. Today, maybe you have a meal. And tomorrow, you maybe have nothing. Maybe there's no water in the well.

To Accept!

And to give whatever it takes. It takes your good name, it takes your good health. It takes "yes": That is the surrender.

And then you are free.

-Mother Teresa

Martyrdom

...nd we were only trying to make it. I don't quite know where the time went, but we lost for winning.
Forcing our steps into silence was pointless,
Stone upon stone we trod and shame brought up the rear.
Windows opened, windows slammed shut
As a futile attempt to somehow shut out their disgrace.
We couldn't see anything anyway.
So what's the difference?
I guess they were wrong
When they said God would make our blindness into sight.
No matter, the landscape is different now anyway.
Our feet feel the timbers creaking beneath us.
What else can we say?
We will go only to pave a stony path for the next fatal few
In hope that the path will lead them,
Lead them anywhere but here, to this type of de...
Amen.

It has been a long while since I have posted here. I guess it is because life has been so busy. Between my last post and this one I have gone to Haiti, prepared and had an incredible wedding to an incredible woman, and started a new semester working 26-32 hours a week, taking 15 hours in classes. Life is running, to say the least.

I've written one poem and I threw it away. And nothing else.

Here's something.

At first I thought I'd run away
but there's no sense in that.
I just freaked out and nothing more
and God was knocking on our door,
we decided and my jaw hit the floor.
I can't believe we chose that!
If there was a joy that could express
the one I feel right now then the world
would be a much, much better place.
Especially Haiti.

Gibt es einen Mann mit weniger Schmerz als ich? Ach Gott, wenn es gibt, führt bitte mich zu ihm, seine Wege zu lernen! Dort scheint, kein Ende zu dies zu sein. Sein Sie kurz davor mich, Ach mein Gott. Ich bin und Wunde mit Rissen niedergeschlagen. Mein Weinen ist häufig, ist mein Herz niedergeschlagen. Ich bin in der Grube der Verzweiflung. Strecken Sie in einem Zug mich, Gott aus! Wo sind meine Freunde? Wo sind meine Tröster? Sie sind nicht hier. Sie sind abgelegen. Wickeln Sie mich in Ihren liebenden Armen und nehmen Sie meine Lasten weg, Vater. Die Last ist schwer. Mein Herz wächst schwach. Sein Sie kurz davor mich.

Walking along
And these lips aren't my lips.
They sing a song
About the way your hair flips.
It may be wrong
But they speak of your hips.
The list is long;
The words sail like sinking ships.

These hands that move,
they can't be my hands.
They have a groove,
They stretch far away to foreign lands,
And also soothe
me as I forget about my life's demands.

My feet, they walk,
But I have no control.
They tend to stalk
The voices of desperate men of long ago.

My eyes, they're blind,
But they can't stop searching.