What will be different? Do I know? Because from in here it looks like a lot of the same thing. But i can put myself there and its totally different. It breathes. It moves me. Its a feeling that is hard to describe. I want to go there so bad. My heart longs to leave this place and enter into that clean, pure, unadultered freedom. Jesus is there. He's here, but he is really there. His name isnt abused there like it is here. I know i have to wait...but its so hard! I just want to end my time here, cut it short, and just move on. Get to where I really feel like being. Some people see endless opprotunity here but all i see is a cage in which we all reside. Stuck, blind and tired. Chastised by worldly things...even some things we dont think are worldly are worldy things. Religion. Denomonation. Success. Education. I want to move somewhere without walls. And i will. Im going to go there. I really hope, with the naiivity of my heart, that the grass is greener over there.

Im going to make it. Im going to make it an oasis. An oasis down the street with its red fruit hanging from its black, darkened trees. its black night sky tracing a scarlet moon. And ill be there, my blood coarsing through my veins like a stallion being tamed by its master, a dark rider. The black and red letters in my Book still guiding me. My heart, then, will shine as ruby shines among blackened stones. And I will be in that place. I will.